How Dramas Kill Me

I'm going to try and update this thing more frequently. Since I'm haven't finished reading my current book (the Fountainhead for anyone wondering... hopefully a review will be up soon), I'm going to update another little rant/insight into my life. The last one was quite fun to write, so hopefully this will be the same.

So. Dramas.

...

I can't really say that I'm addicted to dramas but...

...

... I'm pretty much addicted to dramas.

It's not like I watch a lot of dramas. It's more like once I start, I can't stop. Like. CANNOT. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. TEAR ME AWAY FROM THAT SCREEN AND I WILL TEAR YOUR ORGANS OUT THEN PROCEED TO TEAR MINE OUT BECAUSE I'VE BEEN AWAY FROM THE DRAMA FOR TOO LONG.

It's not just the addiction part that's a problem though; There's the emotional PAIN that comes with it. While I'm watching a drama, I am living and breathing that drama. There's no conscious thought to do this. It just happens.

If, by some random stroke of luck, I'm actually successfully taken away from the drama, I calm down after a few days. Then rational thought strikes and I realize I need to stay the hell away. This results in many unfinished dramas.

It's hard though. I think the drama-addiction genes might run in the family (only the female side though, because neither my dad or granddad seems to have a problem... although my granddad does have a major addiction to watching soccer games so maybe that's the same thing... going on a tangent again sorry). It's like an alcoholic trying to quit, but his roommate has a party with as much booze as you could want.

Why are you tempting me... why... don't do it... OK FINE I'LL WATCH ANOTHER ONE.

And so the cycle starts.

STEP #1: Pledging to stay emotionless.
I always start out with this step, convinced stern self-control can overcome the emotional monster that are dramas.
Ha. Who am I kidding.

STEP #2: Breaking my pledge within two minutes.
Does this even need an explanation? I take sides very very quickly. Then as soon as they introduce some extra pathos... bam. Emotional wreck.

STEP #3: Ranting begins.
I have made up my opinion on which people I like and which I don't by now (and it's not always the hero or heroine of the drama... in fact I more often than not despise the hero/heroine). Anything that's said and done now will be taken subjectively and will be ranted about thoroughly. By this step, I'm pausing the drama (if I'm watching on a computer... if I'm watching on the TV I just scream in frustration and keep watching) every few minutes just so all the feelings do not explode within me.

--- if I give up the drama, it's usually at this point. I get emotionally invested way too easily, so I stop when I feel as if I actually might die if something in particular happens ---

--- This is also the point where I might read spoilers to calm myself down ---

STEP #4: Crying my eyes out and blubbering incoherently.
I'm not just watching the drama anymore. I AM the drama.

STEP #5: Finishing the drama, and curling up in a fetal position for the next few days.
If anyone ever wanted to take me, it's pretty simple. No need for chloroform or any of that fancy stuff. Just pick a random drama, force me to watch it, and I'm done. Totally and completely incapacitated.

With dramas, all my emotions are at extremes. Extreme anger. Extreme sorrow. Extreme any-other-feeling-depending-on-the-drama.

The strangest thing is, it seems to only happen with dramas. I can watch animes fine (fine = only occasionally crying my eyes out or stabbing something). I guess that's a good thing, because at least I can still be addicted to anime without the added emotional pain.

I guess I must live with the curse of being too emotional. Sigh.